Have you been to a synagogue lately?
Or even before Covid.
Germany has more than 100 synagogues. Some cities have more than one. And yet, most of them are empty. This could be explained by a number of things. Young people don’t want to live in small towns, so they go off to study in bigger places. There they stay once they start working, or move to another city, but they rarely come back.
At the same time, the majority of Jews in Germany came from the former Soviet Union. Most of them grew up without any knowledge of Judaism. There was no way for them to learn anything. When they came to Germany, the Jewish communities became the place they met and socialised. But the synagogues were still a mystery to them.
But even in bigger Jewish communities, with members who grew up here, went to Jewish schools or religion classes in the afternoon, the synagogues aren’t full. Half-Full – to use the analogy of the glass.
The fuller half of the synagogue is the one downstairs or in front or in the middle. Men are there. They have been going to synagogue forever. Their fathers and/or grandfathers brought them along every Saturday. It didn’t matter whether the family was observant or not, going to synagogue is what people – read men – did. So these men, fathers themselves now, bring their sons along.
The sons learn how to hold a Siddur, when to say which prayer, they get to ask about what is happening during the service. They study for their Bar Mitzva with the rabbi, the cantor, or some private tutor. One-on-one. And if the community is big enough there is a Bar-Mitzva-Club, in addition to the private lessons.
Then there is the half-empty part of the synagogue. The women and girls are missing. Mothers don’t take their daughters to synagogue, because their mothers also didn’t bring them. They don’t know what is happening and which prayer is said when and how. The women are all well-educated, work, lead. But when it comes to service in the synagogue, they are lost. Being lost, having no one to ask, leads to being frustrated and not interested to attend a regular Shabbat service.
Their daughters might be lucky to have the opportunity to go to a Bat-Mitzva-Club, but often enough it’s simply arts-and-crafts and baking challa. Painting the candleholders is a nice extra to learning about this mitzva, but it seems belittling compared to what the boys learn for their Bar Mitzva.
If, however, we want synagogues and Judaism to survive, change has to happen now. Women and girls need to be educated and welcomed in the synagogues. Synagogues were never meant to be men’s clubs. They are places to come together, pray together.
If women are not going, soon enough their husbands and partners will stop coming. And then the glass won’t be half-empty or half-full, it will simply be empty.