There were visitors in “my” synagogue today. Unfortunately, I wasn’t there and only found out about it after the end of the Shabbat.
A married couple, a bit older, from Israel. They asked about the history of the synagogue, the community, the activities. Normal things, everyday questions. A question arose during this conversation. Whether there are Shiurim for women. A wonderful question. A big gap. The short answer would be “not really”. There is something here and there. Something the Rebbezin does and some private organised learning. There’s a little something.
The Chazan, cantor, was asked about this. He is usually only in town for Shabbat. He misses a lot. But to be honest, his answer: “Not much exists”, wasn’t entirely wrong. The interesting sentence followed shortly after.
My name comes up in connection with this question. Not just my name, but an addition. “Feministi” (the conversation took place be in Hebrew).
Words mean different things to different people. I have no problem describing myself as a feminist. I used to be more careful with that word, but I’m not anymore. Yes, I’m a feminist. I advocate for women, I talk about it, teach about it, and above all I do a lot.
The reasons for why I’m a feminist is not the subject of this post, though. It’s no secret and nothing to be ashamed of. It is however something that seems to bother people. Even though I wasn’t there, I can hear exactly what tone the term was used in.
Feministi
There’s hardly anything worse than that. The biggest threat to Judaism. Where is this supposed to end? (note the sarcasm)
I am aware that with my behaviour, my ideas, my requirements, I offend people. I anger men who cling to traditional Judaism without even remotely being traditional themselves. I annoy women and I don’t understand why they are so annoyed. I displease the rabbis. And I’m probably annoying a lot of other people. How much can one talk about women and Judaism?
It doesn’t bother me to have a certain reputation. There are worse words to call a woman than “feministi”. Although sometimes I think for some it’s as bad as the other words one could be called.
However, a thought occurred to me. Am I harming my synagogue, my community, my congregation with my ideas and demands? Would it be better if I was quieter? Should I give in? Be more submissive?
I might try it. It would definitely be appreciated by some. But the question is: How long would I be able to stand it?
I’m afraid not for very long. That ship has sailed. I am who I am and that’s a good thing. And to be honest, I don’t think I’m doing any harm to the community. Yes, I might challenge them, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
Why do men seem so afraid of the “Feministi”?
What is it that threatens them so much?